How “Choosing the Better Part” Counters Anxiety

All I need to say is “Martha, Martha” and you likely have an idea of which gospel reading I’m talking about, right?

“Jesus entered a village
where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him.
She had a sister named Mary
who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak.
Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said,
“Lord, do you not care
that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving?
Tell her to help me.”
The Lord said to her in reply,
‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things.
There is need of only one thing.
Mary has chosen the better part
and it will not be taken from her.'”

Luke 10:38-42 (NABRE)

It was the gospel reading this past weekend, and while it’s short, it packs a punch. Most of us can relate to Martha, so it can seem like a frustrating story until you start to unpack it. What’s the “better part” that Jesus is referring to there?

Just a few days ago, I had a conversation about something else with a friend of mine who brought up when Jesus says “You follow me” in the last chapter of John.

“Jesus said to [Peter], ‘What if I want him to remain until I come? What concern is it of yours? You follow me.’”

John 21:22

Sitting in Mass yesterday, I was struck by the connection between that verse in John that my friend just mentioned and today’s gospel reading from Luke. God loves to get my attention in that kind of way!

What was the better part that Mary chose? Martha was busy running around getting things done, but Mary sat by the Lord and listened to Him, as the reading says. That’s the difference, and Mary chose the better portion. Mary followed Him, just like Jesus said to Peter in John’s gospel. “You follow me” are Jesus’ words to each of us. That should be so simple, yet it’s SO easy to be distracted from that calling, especially when the things that are distracting us are good things, necessary chores, and/or life’s to-dos. I know from LOTS of experience. 😉

For me, it’s a relief to hear Jesus’ words in Luke that “there is need of only one thing.” So often I feel like I have a million responsibilities and to-dos that clutter my mind and burden me, and that’s fertile ground for stress and anxiety. The truth that there is only one thing I need to be doing is so freeing! Jesus tells us, “You follow me.” He’s telling us that following Him needs to be what takes up most of the space in our heads. But what does that look like lived out when the external demands on us aren’t stopping? It’s not like there is a pause button on life.

When I make the choice that following Jesus is my goal of the day, but then I feel overwhelmed by the million tasks at hand, it reminds me to turn to Him in prayer all throughout the day and ask Him which of those tasks He’s asking me to do, versus which of those tasks I’m putting on my plate because I think they “need” to be done right now, or need to be done at all. Sure, we all have many responsibilities and chores that we must attend to, and I’m not implying to shirk responsibilities, but I find that often some of the things I think “need” to be done are in order to meed a certain desire, expectation, or standard that actually wasn’t set by God. I think to myself that xyz in my life will go more smoothly if I can make abc happen. But that’s me taking control, not me letting God drive, and nothing good ever comes from that! I say that from lots of experience there too. 😉

An example from my life is the medical research that I do. God has called me to do it, but since my health is at stake, it’s easy for me to take it to a level beyond what He’s asking, since I want health so badly. The physical pain and limitations I live with drive me to work harder because I want resolution in my case (and so does God), but that can quickly lead to a lot of pressure and stress. But I know that when I lose my peace, I have gone past what God was asking me to do at that time. When my insides are racing and I don’t feel like I can get it all done, that is not of God. When I lose my peace, I know I’ve (inadvertently) placed some desire, pressure, or task above Him, or I’ve imposed my preferred timeline on the situation. Yikes. Even though it’s still important (my work), and even though what I’m seeking is good (my health), I have to follow Him first. I need to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen first. No circumstances justify my heart being wrongly ordered.

Choosing the better part means the first thing I must do is sit at the feet of Jesus and listen to Him– through Mass, adoration, prayer time, scripture reading, etc. I’ve learned that those are non-negotiables, not “extras.” But then life’s demands creep in, laced with stress, chaos, and anxiety. That’s when it’s important for me to take that feeling of pressure to the Lord immediately and ask Him what He is calling me to do. So often what I’m trying to do makes perfect sense on a human level, and certainly looks like it “needs” to be done from my vantage point, but that is because my heart has become disordered in the process of the perceived stresses and demands. It’s often because I’m placing importance on things based on other opinions (including my own) instead of His opinion, or I’m wanting things to happen at a much faster rate, and that’s creating a lot of pressure. I want to do my best, but I need to stop and ask Him to free me from the worldly vision of what I need to be doing so that I can see His vision instead. Of course it doesn’t mean that what God asks of us is always easy, but it’s doable by His grace and leads to greater interior freedom and peace when we follow Him over the world. When we put Him in the center instead of us at the center, everything changes… for the better.

So often comparison is the thief of not only our joy but also our time with the Lord. We are striving for things that others have or are doing, or we are striving to compete against ourselves. But all that God is asking of us is one thing: “You follow me.” It doesn’t matter how what He’s asking of us measures up to our preconceived notions or others’ expectations. All that matters is that we do what He is asking, as we are only accountable to Him. Jesus sets fire to comparison in that scripture verse from John. Thank you Jesus for setting us free!

So we sit at Jesus’ feet first, before starting to tackle all the other things we have to do. We order our hearts accordingly, listen to Him, and let Him direct our choices. We ask Him to help us surrender our ideas so that we can follow Him more freely without as many distractions, and without all the chaos and busyness. When we have responsibilities and chores, we use those as prayers and offerings to Him- we love Him through our to-dos. When we lose our peace, we ask Him what it is that needs to give. Even if we really don’t want to let go of whatever He tells us is not from Him, we ask for His grace to let go in a spirit of trust. That is how we counter anxiety and live a life with more interior freedom! Temptations to do otherwise creep up constantly (at least for me they do), but we can bring those temptations and pressures to Jesus and ask Him what to do, instead of taking over ourselves. At least that’s my work in progress. 🙂

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