In Giving We Receive

Not too long ago, someone overheard me answering a question about upcoming talks I’d be giving. Out of genuine love and concern, this person said something along the lines of, “Oh, that sounds like a lot. Maybe you shouldn’t do so many talks and tire yourself out.” It’s a legitimate consideration of course, but it doesn’t take into account one of the paradoxes of our faith that St. Francis of Assisi articulated so well: “For it is in giving that we receive.”

In the past, that quote from St. Francis just sounded to me like something nice to say, but I’ve been growing in both understanding and experience of what that really means, so I’ve been reflecting on it more lately. I notice that even when I personally don’t feel like I have the energy to do something, as long as it’s something that God’s calling me to do, not only am I able to do it, but I also feel more alive and recharged by doing it.

It’s paradoxical for sure via our human eyes, but it’s a testament to grace that I see play out time and time again in my life. For one of the recent talks I gave, I hadn’t fallen asleep the night before because of the vomiting and the pain. Yikes- not the kind of night you want to have before a big talk. I was very tired and the pain was a lot worse, but what could I do other than offer that to God and let Him work through my weakness? The Holy Spirit came through as always. I got up there and poured my heart out for 80 minutes, feeling more alive and energized than “should” have been possible considering the circumstances. God sustained me, people shared powerful feedback about how God was working in their hearts through the talk, and I truly enjoyed the evening, as I felt so alive despite my physical weakness.

This isn’t a new idea, as the Old Testament was clear about this:

“Whoever confers benefits will be amply enriched,
    and whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”

-Proverbs 11:25 (NABRE)

Bishop Barron has often spoken of and written about the “loop of grace:”

“God’s love can truly dwell in us only in the measure that we give it away. If we try to cling to it, it will never work its way into our own hearts. But if we give it away as an act of love, then we get more of it, entering into a delightful stream of grace. If you give away the divine love, then you keep it.”

The thing is that my humanness can interfere with my acceptance of this grace, and therefore with all the good that can come from it. When my thoughts are focused on how I’m feeling, what I think is doable, what I think makes sense… that’s all about me and doesn’t allow God the space to work in my life. Oddly enough, that particular thought process actually leads to more exhaustion in the long run, which is the exact thing we try to avoid in the first place. The fascinating thing is that when I instead direct those thoughts and energy to what God is calling me to do, not only can I do those things, but I can do them in a way that is not nearly as draining as I expected. Does this mean that I’m never wiped out from doing the Lord’s work? Of course not. When all was said and done after that recent talk, I was spent, but I got through it with a strength that was not my own, and I wasn’t wiped out in the same seemingly “unrecoverable” way I would’ve been had I tried to follow my own agenda, in my own way. In my life it’s undeniable that when I do a better job of following God’s will for the day, that helps me to avoid many pitfalls and receive many gifts in the process.

That brings discernment into the mix, which will be an entirely different post (or series of posts!), but we have to ask God what He wants us to do/prioritize, and then listen for His answer. There’s no way we can “do it all” in life- that’s a recipe for burnout for sure. For a long time I didn’t even have a habit of asking the Lord where HE wanted me to put my time – I thought that was for me to decide, but that misdirected the focus to myself. I certainly don’t always discern correctly, but I do notice that when I actually ask God what He wants me to do, the answer I often get (through movement of the heart, not an audible answer, just to clarify!) is different than I would have thought. Sometimes what He asks me to do is, on paper at least, a much “smaller” task than what was in my mind, but a “smaller” task certainly does not mean a less important task! Other times, what He asks me to do is “bigger” than what I think I’m “up for,” but then He gives me the grace to do it. He was never counting on me to be self-sufficient in the strength department, after all!

Oh how my disposition of heart matters, though, when it comes to giving! I can do what He’s asking me to do, but when I do it with a poor attitude or in attempt to prove to Him that I am indeed doing what I’m supposed to be doing, I don’t feel uplifted in the end. Isn’t it funny how that works? St. Paul tells us this though:

“The point is this: he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must do as he has made up his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

2 Corinthians 9:6-7 (RSVCE)

So Sacred Scripture teaches us that we will be refreshed by giving and that we need to give with a cheerful heart, but it also tells us about what we will receive spiritually:

“… give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For the measure you give will be the measure you get back.”

-Luke 6:38

This doesn’t mean that we will receive worldly goods or every desire of our heart, but instead we will receive something much more precious: grace. This grace is what fuels our days and our life as a whole. By this grace we can be fully alive, living out God’s plan and giving to others. Chasing a good feeling is not what should motivate us to give, but it’s true that we often feel more uplifted when we are giving to others, for it is in giving that we receive. For example, I received so much grace from God to be able to give that talk, and I continued receiving graces after the talk, both from the way my relationship with God deepened during it, and from the wonderful feedback through which I got to see God work in the lives of others. These things filled my heart with joy- what a gift to receive.

As we approach Thanksgiving, we give thanks for God Himself and for the many blessings in our lives. We also have a perfect opportunity to prayerfully reflect on how and where God is calling us to give to others, and to rely on His answers for guidance and on His grace for the implementation part. Then, we get to be thankful for what we receive in the giving- a continuous loop. Happy Thanksgiving!

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