The Most Relatable Part of the Passion

There’s so much about Jesus’ Passion that we have never experienced- no one reading this blog post has been crucified. We acknowledge the horror and can only imagine how we might have felt in Jesus’ shoes, but carrying a heavy cross that we will be nailed to, being crowned with thorns, or being scourged is not something most of us have experienced, thankfully.

There is a particular part of the Passion that hits me at my core in a very relatable way, though, and it makes for good reflection especially during Holy Week:

“Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsem′ane, and he said to his disciples, ‘Sit here, while I go yonder and pray.’ And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zeb′edee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, ‘My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.^‘  And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.’ And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping; and he said to Peter, ‘So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.^‘  Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, ‘My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, thy will be done.’ And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words. Then he came to the disciples and said to them, ‘Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? Behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.'”

–Matthew 26: 36-46 (RSVCE)

The first way this passage hits me is from personal experience of being the one in need while others are “falling asleep on you.” When you’re in a tough spot and people let you down, especially in seemingly simple requests, it hurts, even though it’s usually not ill-intentioned. The second way this passage hits me, now that I know all too well what it’s like to be the one in need, is wondering how many times before I got sick that I could have made a difference in someone’s life but didn’t– out of ignorance, fear, distraction, busyness, etc. Let’s unpack these as I hop on the vulnerability train here… Lenten penance time for me. 😉

Because of my situation, I firstly relate to Jesus. I know what it’s like when your soul is deeply sorrowful (though I know no where near the depth of sorrow that Jesus experienced in the garden). I know what it’s like to not have the kind of support you need and to feel alone in that. Many years ago during this illness, I learned the value of accompaniment when I needed and desired it but often didn’t have it.

Many people have shared with me over the years that they didn’t think there was anything they could do to help me since they couldn’t fix my situation, so they faded into the distance, feeling incompetent. I needed their support though, so their absences actually caused me more pain. What I’ve grown to learn is that God doesn’t always call us to fix situations. Instead, He often He calls us to accompany others on their journeys- to be present to them and walk with them in their pain, grief, uncertainty, etc., even when we can’t fix it. I’m not expecting anyone to fix my situation, but accompaniment through the Body of Christ on earth is a gift that makes such a difference.

When I have accompaniment on my journey, I am a better person, I see the hands of Christ at work, I sin less, and I feel like I can keep going even though circumstances have not changed. Accompaniment equals the hands of Christ reaching me, so accompaniment is not insufficient. Accompaniment can take various forms- physical, emotional, spiritual. Accompaniment can look like calling or sending a text to check in on a regular basis, visiting with someone, running errands for someone in need, helping a person with physical tasks he/she is not able to do, listening to what someone is going through, making someone laugh, praying with someone in Mass or adoration, etc. These things all make a difference. There’s no way to automatically know the best thing to do in every situation, so if you don’t know what to do… ask! Even if you think you know what to do, you can still ask the person what would be most helpful or meaningful to him/her since that differs for everyone. 

Personally knowing the value of accompaniment actually puts a higher call on me to accompany others despite my situation, and it helps me more fully realize that I need to accompany Jesus better on His cross. For so many years, I didn’t realize that I needed to be accompanying Jesus on His cross today, that He desired me to accompany Him during His Passion, today. I wasn’t alive when He was crucified, but I can accompany Him in that today. Understanding this now prompts me to draw closer to Him when I’m feeling low and unite that to His cross, with the intention of accompanying Him in His suffering. I can actually use my physical pain, heartache, sorrow, and even mild annoyances to console Jesus on the cross- what a beautiful prayer to make out of unfavorable circumstances. It makes a difference to Him, it draws me closer to Him, and as a bonus, it helps me to carry my cross a bit easier. We can choose to do today what the apostles failed to do in the garden- we can keep watch with Jesus and spend extra time with Him, especially this Holy Week.

Look at the type of accompaniment Jesus requested- He was not asking the apostles to fix or prevent His situation. He was simply asking them to be present with Him during an incredibly sorrowful time- to be alert and present, and to prayerfully accompany Him. The fact that the Son of God asked for accompaniment highlights for me how important it is! Yes, the apostles would’ve had to postpone sleep for a little while when they were tired, but that certainly was not too much for Jesus to ask. Think about what Jesus was about to endure and how His apostles had an opportunity to support Him in a specific way with their presence. The apostles were scared or tired or just didn’t get it, but we can learn from what Jesus was asking of them. Now that I understand better, I can do better, both by Jesus and by others.

The second level that scripture verse hits me is in wondering when I’ve responded like the apostles. Yikes. When were the times I “fell asleep” on others and missed opportunities to accompany them? Now that I know what it’s like to be the one in need, I feel the weight of the times I likely missed the boat and could’ve helped someone but didn’t. While I didn’t knowingly shun others, I do admit there were times when ignorance, fear, distraction, and busyness got in the way. I know there were times when I prioritized the wrong things- times when I was so busy doing good things and “to dos” in my life that I likely missed the cues of others in need around me. There were times I didn’t know what to do, so I did nothing instead of asking what would be helpful. There were times that I was scared to do the wrong thing, so I did nothing. In those instances, I put other things ahead of Jesus, just like the apostles put sleep ahead of Him in the garden. Today those past actions of mine grieve me because I know what it feels like to be on the other end. In the past when I was distracted, I was distracted by good things, but were those the things God was asking me to fill my time with at that point? In many scenarios, probably not, even though they looked like good choices in one way. What God asks of us often cannot be seen by others or put on a resume, but there’s nothing better we could be doing with our lives. It’s all about His will, His plan, and eternal life- not about what is comfortable or looks good to us. Seeing things through those lenses now, I have regrets even for “good things” I was busying myself with when I was making those decisions by myself instead of seeking His will and asking for His guidance in my choices.

There’s nothing I can do about the past other than bring that to confession and ask God for forgiveness, which I’ve done. Praise God for the incredible gift of His mercy- that’s the good news! What I can do something about, though, is the decisions I make now- and that’s another piece of good news. It’s not too late! So, I am trying to be more attentive to the needs of those who God places in my life, and I’m trying to look for ways to serve God that are unseen by the world and others, knowing that He will use those instances for His greater glory. I’m praying to never again miss an opportunity to be the Body of Christ to someone on earth. Even more so, I’m trying to better accompany Jesus on His cross by offering Him the pain, struggles, and annoyances I face now, understanding that He actually desires me to console Him, and that it does make a difference to Him. I’m also trying to spend more one-on-one time with Jesus during Holy Week. Every time I read the Passion, I am reminded of what Jesus is asking of me, and I have an opportunity to do better than I’ve done in the past and accompany Him on His cross.

Jesus, I am sorry for the times I “fell asleep” on you and on others. How can I accompany you and others better this Holy Week and in general? Help me to see the love to which you are calling me, and help me to have strong finish to Lent and a holy Easter Triduum. Amen.

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