And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.
Luke 2:19 NABRE
Other translations say “pondering” instead of “reflecting,” but this verse comes from yesterday’s gospel for the Solemnity of Mary. What a gift that we get to start each new year with the Solemnity of Mary, as Mary always points us toward her son Jesus and to God the Father.
That particular verse strikes me because it shows that Mary didn’t automatically “get” it all. Even though she was born without original sin, she still didn’t have full understanding of things because she was human. That makes me feel better since I definitely do not have full understanding of things! She had to take time with God and reflect/ponder in her own heart, as do we all.
In past years, I usually took Mary’s reflecting to be more about her personality- maybe the quiet, thoughtful type. But this year, I experience the verse in a much deeper way, as I know from my own life what it is to feel God at work in such a way that you can’t adequately put it into words… when you know things are God’s doing instead of yours, and when there’s nothing to do with that powerful of an emotion other than to reflect on and ponder it in your heart with God.
Recently I’ve started to catch a glimpse of how God is at work bringing good out of my situation in a much bigger and more unexpected way than I could have imagined. For example, in December I spoke at a retreat, and the fruits that have been coming from that have been unbelievable and from unexpected directions. There has been a trickle down effect to people who were not even at the retreat. This escapes my capacity to understand much less devise, and it’s humbling at the same time. All of this is God’s doing- I am certainly not capable of making these things happen. The little “peek behind the curtain” I can see right now from my limited view is only a tiny piece of what God is really up to, but the part that I can see overwhelms me in such a way that it demands that I reflect on it in my heart, growing closer to God in the process. This helps me understand a tiny piece of the emotion that Mary must have felt, though she would have experienced this feeling exponentially greater than what I’m feeling, as she carried Jesus in her womb and then raised Him! It gives me goosebumps just thinking about her in that role. Of course she had to reflect!
What all was Mary pondering? That question makes for a really cool exercise of mental prayer, imagining happenings from Mary’s perspective, as well as what she might have been talking to God about in her heart. There are the obvious things she must have reflected on, such as how she, a simple teenager, was chosen to be the mother of God. That had to completely blow her mind! Then there was the fact that this came about through a virgin birth. Then she must have wondered what would come next, and how many people could she really have talked to about all of this? She watched the seemingly impossible transpire, not of her will but of God’s will, all the while growing in understanding of where God’s plan was heading for the salvation of mankind. Wow. Then she must have grappled with what exactly her specific role was in all of this, as well as with other things that she waits to reveal to us in prayer.
The beginning of the gospel reading clues us into a little more of what Mary was likely pondering:
The shepherds went in haste to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph, and the infant lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known the message that had been told them about this child. All who heard it were amazed by what had been told them by the shepherds.”
Luke 2:16-18
Shepherds. Shepherds were not esteemed or well-educated. They were poor and dismissed by others, yet they were the ones chosen to make known the message about Jesus! I would imagine that Mary pondered the fact that shepherds were chosen to spread the message, much like a person of her simplicity was chosen to be Jesus’ mother. I wonder if she could even believe how all of that was happening, in the way that it was happening, while she was watching it happen! All the while God humbled Himself enough to come as a fragile baby, so it’s not like God is asking us to be humble when He is not. Neither Mary nor the shepherds had the qualities that our world today heralds, yet they were chosen for amazing missions. They were humble, knew God and His truth, and were obedient. What greater qualities to strive for, especially in this new year?
Then, we get to ponder how God is speaking to each of us personally in all of that. We reflect on Mary’s life and fiat in order to direct ourselves more toward her son. She never wants the focus to stop on her. Mary’s pondering was about God Himself and the ways in which He was working, and working through His son- not about herself. When I think of God, I want to feel the kind of awe that Mary must have felt toward God when she reflected on Him, having experienced what she experienced.
The simple witness of Mary’s reflecting and pondering is a great example to all of us about what we can implement into our prayer life in this new year. We have a great opportunity to follow her example of reflecting and pondering so that God can reveal Himself to us more, and so that we become more in awe of our Lord this coming year. I know personally I have a ton to reflect on now and throughout this coming year, and I can’t wait to see what spiritually comes of it so that I’m a better person by next year. Happy New Year to you all!
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