A Lesson in Gratitude from Inmates

Last week, I went to a prison for the first time. I went to the second largest prison in Louisiana (you didn’t think God was going to start me off slow, did you?) to give 2 talks- one on redemptive suffering and one on hope- to the Catholic inmates who chose to attend the annual day retreat. I’ve often thought about and prayed for prisoners, especially when I was housebound and learned how difficult isolation and losing your freedom is. Who knew that during those years I was housebound, God was preparing me for prison ministry! It’s incredible to see His plan unfold in unexpected ways.

I was excited to serve the inmates at Hunt, but I was definitely a bit apprehensive, as this was out of my comfort zone. Before going I had to fill out paperwork, read pages of rules, choose an outfit that complied with the restrictions (down to the color), etc. Once there, the car had to be searched, and I had to be searched and screened with a wand. I couldn’t bring in a purse or phone. Once I got through all of that, the experience ended up being more of a gift to me than I could’ve imagined. I learned a lot, many of my misconceptions were shattered, and I saw God at work.

It was sad to see prison life from the inside, but I saw hope there. I saw that people can indeed change. Some of the men that came up to me after my talk and shared their (conversion) stories with me had been in prison for over 20 years, and their deep yearning for the Lord was beautiful. They shared that they either didn’t know or didn’t believe in God when they committed the crimes, but now many of them spend their time reading scripture and even The Diary of St. Faustina! I was humbled to listen to the spiritual insights the Lord has given to them- the types of things you can’t just make up but that come from a conversion of heart. I understand this is not the case for all or even most prisoners (my interaction was with < 5% of the inmates), but it is the case for some of them, and it was beautiful to see the conversions of heart that are happening. It encouraged me to pray more and offer more things up for prisoners.

One of my biggest takeaways was the display of open and authentic gratitude that I witnessed from the inmates. I expected them to be grateful for things they didn’t have- things that had been stripped away from them, things that any of us would miss if they were gone. For example, they were very excited to have a special lunch during their retreat, a lunch that far surpassed the food they usually are served- chicken salad, potato wedges, and fruit. So it was a nice meal, but no steak dinner. It was newsworthy to them though, and it made me think by comparison how many times we, on the outside, have a lunch like that and are so underwhelmed. We humans just naturally take for granted the things that we are used to having. That’s the kind of thing I expected to notice in terms of a lesson on gratitude from my few hours at the prison, but it didn’t stop there. Little did I know, my socks were about to get knocked off (which then might have then put me in wardrobe violation!).

The chaplain introduced me, and the inmates gave me a standing ovation as I was walking ON to talk- before I had even spoken a word to them. They had no idea whether I was going to be a good or terrible speaker, but they were SO grateful that someone from the outside took the time and trouble to come to them to share the faith that they just unreservedly jumped to their feet and gave me by far the warmest welcome I’ve ever received in any of the talks I’ve given. I mean, who gives a standing ovation as a welcome before the speaker even begins? It was so powerful that I was in tears before I even started speaking. They didn’t skeptically wait to see if I was worth the standing ovation- they knew the behind-the-scenes effort I had already put in, and they were applauding me, the person, for my effort for them.

I’ve never had to choke back tears at the beginning of a talk before, so I will never forget the way that hit me. It got me thinking. What if we all saw each other for the people we are and the effort we put into things instead of just the tasks we complete or accomplishments we have? What if our vision wasn’t so obscured by the busyness and things of this world that we could experience that level of gratitude for others- for the ways they are using the gifts God gave them and for the ways they impact our lives simply by their interactions with us?

Those prisoners knew their day would’ve been different had I said no to presenting for their retreat. They understood that fact precisely because of the lack with which they are well acquainted. What if we, on the outside, could as clearly see how our lives would be so different (for the worse) without all the seemingly “normal” ways that people pour into us on a daily basis, often without our notice? What if we could be as grateful for those in our lives as those prisoners were for me? I suspect we’d all be much happier and more fulfilled.

As if that wasn’t enough, the inmates asked to give me a blessing before I started speaking. Had the chaplain alone asked to do that, it would’ve been a gift, but I would not have been surprised. I’ve had priests kindly do that before talks I’ve given, but never the audience. And let me tell you, they took no shortcuts. Nearly 100 male inmates boldly extended their hands out over me, and broke out in song. Yes, you read that right- song. They had a beautiful blessing prepared for me in the form of a song. And these men unabashedly sang their hearts out to me for several stanzas- not a quick one-line tune. They were not embarrassed to do so- they were grateful for the opportunity to do so. I was so humbled, and look at how the Lord used them to dissolve my fears so that I could minister to them more fully.

Then my first talk began, and this was probably the most receptive audience I’ve spoken to yet. That’s not what I was expecting! These men were so hungry for Jesus and were completely open to the messages. They were engaged and attentive, and they laughed hard at all of my jokes. They were so uninhibited, so real. It was the kind of response I hope for all of us on “the outside,” just minus the previously crimes. It’s the kind of interior freedom that can only come about as a result of trials though, so may we all allow God to work in our hearts amidst the trials we face.

Then I gave a second talk, and they asked good questions at the end. Many of them came up to me in between the talks or after the second talk to politely thank me and respectfully talk to me, even though there wasn’t really much of a block of time for them to do so. I could write volumes of takeaways of how the Lord spoke to me via what they shared with me, so stay tuned for the book! 😉

This all emphasized to me the importance of praying for prisoners- for their conversions and repentance, for courage and perseverance for them, and for strengthening of faith for the ones who’ve already had a conversion. No one is too far gone for God, and God desires every single one of us to get to heaven to spend eternity with Him. I am forever changed for the better for having gone last week. They have asked me to go back in December to present on Advent, and I’m honestly really looking forward to doing so.

Maybe my biggest takeaway is this. In between my 2 talks, one man was telling me how he’d been in prison for 23 years. Another man, after my second talk, asked the question of what year my health issues began. When I answered, he replied that was the year he’d come to prison there. At the time, I thought to myself, “Wow, they are relating this to their lives and seeing parallels.” After the fact is when it really hit me though. Those years when I was housebound and so near despair, I was praying for prisoners as I was personally getting a glimpse into the difficulties of not being free (albeit in a different way). Little did I know that the prisoners I was praying for all those years ago when I was housebound would be the same inmates I was speaking to many years later after their conversions when I went to prison to give talks for a Catholic prison retreat…

Thank you, God, for the multitude of ways you use our prayers, trials, and work for our good and the good of others, even and especially when we don’t even know it’s happening. Thank you for revealing yourself to us deeper in the most unexpected places and ways.

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