Love is Sacrifice

Oxford Languages defines love as “an intense feeling of deep affection.” This definition of love is the one that we are likely most familiar with, but St. Thomas Aquinas tells us more.

To love is to will the good of another.

St. Thomas Aquinas

This quote gives us greater insight into the love that Jesus exhibited for us from the cross. Jesus willed the good of humanity, of each and every one of us, by becoming the sacrifice, by submitting to death on a cross so that we could have eternal life. He willed our good by sacrificing Himself. Jesus’ submission to death was not about what He Himself wanted (at all!), but He was willing to submit to the Father’s will and love us in the deepest way:

“My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I will but what you will.”

Matthew 26:39 (NABRE)

We could spend our entire lives pondering that selfless act of sacrifice, love, and submission on Jesus’ part, and the way that changed everything for us. What wondrous love is this, indeed! Some profound words from C.S. Lewis show us how to love like Jesus is a self-emptying way:

Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life, and you will save it. Submit to death- death of your ambitions and favored wishes every day, and death of your whole body in the end. Submit with every fiber of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself and you will find in the long run only haters, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

It’s hard and profound all at the same time. What accurate words though- Jesus gave up Himself, lost His life, submitted to the Father’s will, and gave away everything for us. “Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead” really stands out to me this Holy Week. We are called to pick up our crosses and follow Jesus, to surrender all of our desires and hopes to Him in an act of love. We have to do this in order to live, in order to participate in the redemption. Without the crucifixion, there is no resurrection.

Death to self equals surrender to Him, which then leads to eternal life. Surrendering ourselves and our desires is easier said than done, of course. I have been on a journey of surrender for many years now due to my health situation and the limitations it has imposed on me. I had dreams of a healthy life, of a certain career, of a husband and children, and none of that has happened yet. All of my dreams were good, but I was holding on to them too tightly. I felt justified in holding onto them tightly since they were good and “normal” things, but Jesus wanted me to give everything to Him. He wanted my heart. He wanted me to want Him more than I wanted any of those other (good) things. He wants all of us so that He can redeem all of us.

In submitting to Him and letting go of my ambitions, I have found more freedom and a deeper relationship with Him than I even knew were possible. I have grown more spiritually than I ever could have when I was holding onto what I wanted. He has increased my understanding and changed how I see everything... for the better. He has shown me how to love others better, how to sacrifice more, how to unite everything to the cross, and how He loves me (and each of us). I am a better person than I used to be, but I had to die to self in order for these things to happen.

It was hard to give it all to Jesus, because for some reason I used to think that it would just mean more suffering and misery. But it doesn’t stop with the suffering. He asks submission of us so we can participate in redemption. My life needs to be about what He wants, not just about what I want, because He wants to do good with my life. Whatever God has planned for my life in order for me to glorify Him is the best scenario. No one knows me better than my maker does, so I have to trust that He knows what is best and will redeem all things. And I can participate in redemptive suffering by presenting even my unmet desires to Him on the cross. It’s an opportunity for me to accompany Jesus on His cross, as He suffers for me. Wow.

Dying to self more is a great gift that we can give Jesus this Holy Week. Jesus isn’t asking a fraction of something of us that He didn’t do Himself to the fullest degree. It’s so hard to wrap our minds around even just a fraction of the sacrifice and the love on that cross, but He gave us the most wonderful gift and a powerful example of what it looks like to love, to sacrifice, to surrender. He is walking with us on our journeys and wants to help us to love like He loves. That’s very comforting to me to know that I’m not alone in this task- He is here, ready to help me.

I still have the desires that I used to have, and I hope those things will come to be one day. Now though, I know that even if they don’t get those things, I’ll be ok. Surrendering the big and the small things is something I will continue working on for the rest of my life, because gosh do we accumulate attachments of the heart here on earth! But as St. Francis of Assisi said, “For it is in giving that we receive.” How true that is spiritually, and what hope that gives us. The more we give to Jesus and the more we sacrifice for others, the more graces we receive, and the more we are changed for the better. How beautiful.

What are some ways we can die to ourselves this Holy Week? What is He asking us to surrender and bring to the foot of His cross? What are some specific sacrifices we can make out of love for Jesus as we accompany Him in the Garden of Gethsemane, on the road to Calvary, and during His crucifixion this Holy Week?

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